NeS2 Post 1820
NeS2 Post 1820 shows that Britt has finally finished filling in all of the forms required for himself and Kaptin Kwanza within the Admin Realm for Nan the administrator. She reveals that they may be able to leave the Realm in several years, which prompts the two of them to storm off and start searching the office doors for a way out. After several missteps, and being chased and hounded by the administrators, they find a door leading out but Britt doesn't want to return to the Story Realm. Instead he wants to go to the 8th Dimension, which could show him the future of his Story. In the NeS the NeS Heroes finally arrive in Rome thanks to Long Xiang and discover that the company, Prime Inc, has been upgrading the entire city to prepare for a future cataclysm - the second sun's heat. When they reach the coordinates for the Containment Unit they discover Prime Inc has a building on it. Gebohq Simon's DNA unexpectedly opens the door and they meet President Prime. He tells them that they are distantly related and their Simon heritage is in the DNA scanners because Adélaide Simonier and Lorenzo Prime had children that branched into the two families - Prime and Simon. Post Britt the Legend - Chapter Twenty-Six Britt the Legend - Chapter Twenty-Six ''Britt the Biro-wielder'''' rolled around the floor of the white-walled office in blistering agony, clutching his right wrist with his left hand. That right hand was, literally, blistering.'' Nan: "Forms all done! Congratulations! The last person to fill in that many forms had to have his hand reattached after it exploded." Kaptin Kwanza: "Even I'm impressed and I fell asleep for a few hours there!" Britt: "I want... ice cream..." Nan: "Well I suppose a good boy deserves a little treat! What flavour would you like?" Britt: "Doesn't matter. It's for my hand." Nan: "Careful making movie parodies in this dimension. This is the Admin Dimension, remember? You'll have all kinds of administrative registers to file. Plus, it's awfully close to the Law Dimension." Kaptin Kwanza: "There's an entire dimension for law?" Nan: "With the sheer number of copyright infringements that go on in the NeSiverse, it's hardly a wonder." Britt: "Please... the ice cream... so much... pain..."---------- Losien: "Welcome to Rome!" The group of NeS Heroes finally listened to Rachel and climbed aboard Long Xiang's gondola. After a very bumpy and speed-thrilled ride, they arrived in Rome. A jewel of Europe, the beautiful city of Rome is a monument to its history and yet a wonderful mix of the modern world blends straight in... as does the incredibly sci-fi elements that appear to litter the city? Evil G: "Is that some kind of barrier they're building?" All corner of Rome are encompassed by a transparent orange dome - or rather a dome-in-progress as it only reaches half-way up. Metallic arms interconnect each pane of orange energy-stuff, until each arm reaches the peaking point directly over the city. Most of the people of the city also had energy-based parasols over their heads, and energy-based sunglasses. Large, and very modern, fountains were everywhere and people were encouraged by signs to use the water to cool themselves down. Signs on all of these ultra-futuristic mechanisms read "Prime Inc". '----------' Britt the Legend - Continued Britt: "There must be some way back to the Story Realm." Nan: "Don't you worry. Your forms have been sent off and we should get you authorised to be here in the 22nd Dimension in, say, three years. After that we can fill in some forms to get you some kind of special dispensation for a return trip to the Story Realm. That should only take a few decades." Kaptin Kwanza: "Is tthat some kind of... Admin time zone. In Story Realm time, that's like... a few hours right?" Nan smiled as sweetly as she could. Nan: "Don't be so bloody daft."---------- Losien: "Hey! Can you tell me what's going on here? What are you building?" Italian Worker: "Stupid tourists... A dome! What does it look like!?" Losien: "Yes, but what is it for!?" Italian Worker: "What else? To keep the impending scorching earth out!" The NeS Heroes each glance at one another, searching for an answer from anyone in their midst. The Italian worker rolls his eyes and points up at the Sun. Italian Worker: "That is not the Sun, Narrator!" My bad. The Italian worker points at the Second Sun. Lightbulbs ding above everyone's respective heads. Italian Worker: "The world's gonna end. Burnt to a crisp. This shield should stop the heat from affecting us. Lucky Prime Inc is around, eh?" Losien: "Right..." ---------- Cont. Nan: "I must insist that you both stop this! You've already accrued enough form-filling to take you both a dozen lifetimes to get through, you're only giving yourselves more and more work to do!!" She, and several other administrators, are following Britt and Kaptin down the dazzling-white corridors of the 22nd Dimension, waving bunches of papers at them. Menacingly. Kaptin Kwanza: "This place is a frickin' maze!" Britt: "One of these doors has to lead us out of here." They opened the closest door. Inside is a pit of Hellfire. They quickly closed it with shrieks.---------- In Hell (Canada). The Next True Evil: "Whoa! Drafty! Did you feel that?" Devil's Advocate: "Mr. Nine won't be happy to hear you gossiping..." The Next True Evil: "If he ever comes back..." Devil's Advocate: "Oh ye of little Faith." The Next True Evil: "Is that an ironic statement, considering?" ---------- Cont. Kaptin: "Try that one." Britt opened another door. Inside they find a Winter Wonderland. Britt & Kaptain: "Preeetty..." Suddenly a horrible, decaying Santa Claus burst out of the snow at them with a shrieking wail of horror. Which was quickly joined by their own shrieking wails of horror as them swiftly closed the door. Britt: "What the Hell is it with these doors!?" Kaptin: "Wait... I think I know the way out." He nudged Britt and pointed down the corridor. There, pinned to the wall, was an 'EXIT' sign - much like those found in all modern buildings of the world. Nan: "You're not permitted to go that way, gentlemen! Gent-...Ge-... Stop ignoring me! Hey!" They quickly ran down the corridor, pursued by angry administrators and receptionists. One of them was trying to write down on a tablet at they ran, writing down the minutes of their current 'meeting'. Minute-Writer: "Nan shouted, stop running you little bast-- stop writing those God damned minutes! Stop repeating what I'm say-- I SAID STOP--- ACK!" The admins all tumble and fall into a large heap of bodies as Nan attacked the Minute Writer, giving Britt and his compatriot plenty of opportunity to head for the 'EXIT'. They skidded around the corner and dashed down an emergency exit stairwell. Finally they burst through a couple of double-doors, snapping them open with the metal bar. In the new room they were greeted by many doors, each with a number. Britt: "There's no number 22, see?" Kaptin: "These must be the Dimensions. We're in the 22nd Dimension, so it wouldn't be a door, would it? Let's get to door 6." Kaptain Kwanza ran to door 6 and Britt followed, though a little slower. When Kaptin reached the door he turned and frowned at Britt, seeing the hesitation in Britt's movements. Kaptin Kwanza: "Don't telll me you wanna stay and fill in forms?" Britt: "Of course not. It's just... I feel something." Kaptin Kwanza: "Look, we've been through a lot together and I'm startin' to feel strongly for you too. But I don't tend to lean that way. Not unless I'm completely plastered anyway..." Britt: "What? No! Not that! I just feel like... opportunity. That's what it is. Opportunity is... calling." Kaptin Kwanza: "How so?" Britt: "Think about it. All these doors lead to different dimensions. We could go to any of them. We could go to the Writers' Realm. The Gods' Realm! We could go to that... what was it called? l33t? Change the mechanics of my Story!" Kaptin Kwanza: "Your Story?" Britt: "Or... or... or the 8th..." Kaptin Kwanza: "Why the 8th?" Britt: "It's the future." Kaptin Kwanza: "I thought it was more like... all possibilities that could happen, or could have happened? Like... alternate storylines or whatever? You know, I think my brain might melt." Britt: "I know, I know. Exactly why it's the best place to go. All storylines that could have been, but weren't. All storylines that could yet be." Kaptin Kwanza: "But it's useless. It's like you see one possible future, but there's no guarantee that's the one that'll happen. And alternate pasts that never happened, never were, never will be. Useless." Britt: "Hear me out. What if... what if I can somehow... control it?" Kaptin Kwanza: "... and what makes you think you can do that?" Britt: "It's just a... feeling. I think I'm being drawn to it. I just know I can do it. I can control something within the 8th and then I can create whatever future I want!" Kaptin Kwanza: "You're gonna be so embarrassed with egg on your face when it turns out your delusions of grandeur are groundless..." Britt: "Not true. I can do this!" Kaptin Kwanza: "Why do you want to control the future anyway? You seem to just drift aimlessly around the planet getting yourself into Adventures!" Britt: "Aye. But when does it end?" Kaptin Kwanza: "Fear of death? I suppose everyone gets it." Britt: "Not my death. The death of my Story." Britt opened the door to the 8th Dimension.---------- The NeS Heroes follow the directions that Chronos had given them and find themselves staring at an incredibly tall, futuristic building. Neon lights glare out of the structure and a huge logo of Prime Inc is posted on its side. They approach the doors but find they're locked. A voice blares out of a speaker. Receptionist: "Do you have an appointment?" Losien: "Uh... no." Receptionist: "Then you'll have to bugger off." Evil G: "Losien. You need to learn the craft of lying." Losien: "I don't even know what we're supposed to be doing here. Chronos never said some high-tech super giant company would be sitting ontop of her Containment Unit!" Evil G: "We should just bust our way in! Geb can go first!" Gebohq: "What!? Why me!?" Evil G: "Cannon fodder." Gebohq: :o Tracer (Ageless Child): "There's some kind of handy-dandy DNA reader that'll let people in. I suppose only company members can get through the door by letting it scan their DNA." Losien: "Why do we always leave MZZT behind?" Evil G: "Good point. We should be leaving Totally Preggers and Recently Preggers here behind." Lady LightSide & Rachel Pi: "Hey!" Losien: "I suppose you're not wrong..." Lady LightSide & Rachel Pi: "Hey!!" Gebohq: "Hey!!!" Rachel: "Thank you, Geb. At least someone stands up for me round here!" Gebohq: "Uh, sure I do. But I opened the door." Rachel: "You weren't defending my honour!?" :( Gebohq: "Uh... I'll always defend your honour, my love! Just tell me when! In the meantime... door's open!" Tracer (Ageless Child): "Exactly how did you do that?" Gebohq: "Uh... I poked it." Losien: "You mean the DNA lock?" Gebohq: "Yes. The thingymajiggy." Amal: "Why does this Prime Inc think you're a company member, Geb?" Al Ciao: "Maybe he's been double-dipping!?" Rachel: "What!?" Al Ciao: "Uh, I meant job-wise..." Evil G: "Geb's lucky to have even one woman in the universe that likes him, let alone two." Gebohq: "Heeeeeeeeey! I had other girlfriends before, you know?" Evil G: "Five to be exact. Theirs names are pinky, ring, middle, index and thumb." Rachel: "You know, everytime you take the piss out of him, you're taking the piss out of yourself?" Evil G: "Yeah, but he doesn't usually realise that." Gebohq: "I do now!!" Evil G: "You'll forget all about it in a few minutes." Gebohq: "Forget what?" Evil G: "About what I just said." Gebohq: "Uh, what did you just say? I've totally forgotten." Iriana Emp: "I say. There appears to be a man waving at us." Through the glass doors that Gebohq unlocked is a man waving at them. Gebohq opens the door. Man: "Hullo Cousin!" Gebohq: "Erm... ... ... ... hullo." Man: "When I say Cousin, I mean more like... distant ancestor. But still, same bloodline. Important one at that!" Losien: "I don't think we'd really share the same DNA if we're that distantly related." Man: "You'd be surprised. Lots of very similar markers. We could trace our ancestry right back to B.C.E. and earlier. But our common ancestors were living around 1500s or 1600s. Something like that." Losien: "Who the Hell are you?" Man: "People just call me President Prime." Evil G: "That's a stupid name." President Prime: "You know, there's a perfectly good Bad Guy Containment Unit downstairs. I could book you a one-way trip, Evil G?" Evil G: "Just try it, fella." Losien: "How do you know who he is?" President Prime: "Are you kidding me? You see the super-tech around you?" Rachel: "Well, all of this is wonderfully pointless and senseless, but we're here for your Containment Unit. Let us past." President Prime: "Now, now! We're about to enter the same family tree, Ms Pi. A little bit of respect will go a long way to strengthening our family bonds!" Gebohq: "I'm finding this kind of creepy." Amal: "Let's just start with a simple question. Is this your company?" President Prime: "That's right." Amal: "And why do you have sci-fi technology?" President Prime: "All of this is the culmination of magic-combined-technology!" Amal: "Oh! Like Mecha Lou?" President Prime: "So you've met another one of the Simon Cousins?" Many heroes wince in confusion. President Prime: "Story time!!" Suddenly President Prime is sitting in an armchair, wearing a nightgown, and has a large book open in his lap. The heroes sit on a carpet. Rachel: "This is stupid." President Prime: "To cut a long story short. Adélaide and Lorenzo had babies." Tracer (Ageless Child): "Wow... that really was short. And confusing." President Prime: "Lorenzo Prime's magical skills, inherited through the bloodline from Minerva mixed with the technology, gifted from the future by Chronos, in Adélaide Simonier. Hence, tech-magic. Somewhere down the line, tech-witches formed their own coven. Or whatever that witch-stuff is about. That's your Mecha Lou. We took more of the tech route. And that's where we stand." Losien: "Why do I feel like that was all needless fluff and filler?" Al Ciao: "Like a twinkieTwinkie article, Wikipedia.!" Iriana Emp: "What's a twinkie?" Al Ciao: "Some things in life are best left a mystery." Rachel: "And I feel like that little family history was one such thing that should have been left a mystery. Pointless backstory fluff." President Prime: "You're absolutely right. Although it might interest you to know that our families have kept pretty close over the centuries. In fact, your father used to work for us." That piques Losien's interest. Losien: "Doing what?" President Prime: "Helping us with... The Final Frontier." Rachel: "Seriously? Star TrekStar Trek article, Wikipedia. gags?" Notes Britt's Commentary "When Britt asks for ice cream, this sequence is a reference to the movie EvolutionEvolution article, Wikipedia.." ~ Britt the Writer References External References Category:Post Category:NeS2 Post